DON'T ALLOW THESE THINGS CONTROL YOU AGAIN!

DON'T ALLOW THESE THINGS CONTROL YOU AGAIN!

What's up Gentlemen? I'm Emmanuel from Teaching Men Everything and welcome to another blog post.

Before I continue with this blog post, I have an important announcement: There is a total rebranding of TME coming up later this year. The change will start from the name "Teaching Men Everything", touching almost every aspect of this blog. More Information coming to you soon. Having all that said, let's get right into this post.

As we know, there are things in this world that are beyond our control; like the family, we are born into, the gender we are (even trans people did not change 100% if we’re being honest) etcetera, we just have to deal with them. However, there are also things that are within our control; like our personality, sexual preference, success, happiness etc.

Even as we have control over most of our life decisions, there are things we let control us consciously and unconsciously. I am here today to tell you 11 things you should not let control you or you should stop allowing to control you if they already are, if that makes sense.

These are things that are 100% within our control; but for one reason or the other, we let them control or get the best of us. I am here to point out some of them for you and give a little remedy as to how you can take back control. I am going to be 100% real here and even a little rated, so buckle up for a wild ride. If that sounds Interesting, vamonos.

1. Money:

I get the fact that everybody wants to be wealthy, be able to plan and live life knowing that money is not a problem, spoil their parents in their old age and be able to provide the life they never had for their children. That is not a bad thing, in fact, I am 100% for that. What I'm trying to pass across is that; don't let your whole focus be on getting the bag, let that be a goal or an endgame but not the whole plan. Work hard, but don't forget to live in the moment, create memories, listen to music, travel the world and be with people who make you feel 100% you. Because in the end, if you make all the money neglecting all other parts of your life, Your life is going to be rich, but totally empty. In the words of Bazzi "If I'm in here by myself, this house will never be a home".

2. Relationships: Friendships, Sexual relationships and whatever you're into are very good bonds that should be made. But when you let them, they can be very toxic to you. Being there for the people you care about when they need you builds a type of love that even money cannot buy. But it becomes toxic when you are making yourself totally free every time your friends or significant other WANTS you to be; clearing your schedules, waving aside important tasks, depriving yourself of your own happiness just because you don't want them to think of you as being selfish or wicked. Be there for your loved ones, but be there for yourself more. Always put yourself first and if they think of you as being selfish, you need a new set of friends or a new partner.

3. People's Opinions: One of the worst things you can ever do to yourself is to let other people's words affect and have control over your own life. The only one who should be in charge of your life is YOU, of course with some pieces of advice here and there from your family, friends, mentors, other people you can actually trust and lastly, your internet big brother- ME. Carry any style and colour of hair you please, study and make a living out of your own passion and generally, do what makes you happy; because in the end, if you allow people rule your life, the only unhappy person in the situation will be you.

4. Confidence Level: Before you jump into conclusions, let me explain myself. I am talking about the two extremes of confidence, Over and Unconfidence. High self-esteem and shyness play equal but opposite roles in controlling people's lives and can both deprive you of opportunities. Overconfidence on one hand can be seen as being rude; what this does is it can make you reject major opportunities appearing in small faces. While unconfidence, (yes, that is a real word), passes off as incapable even though that might not be the case, and can make you miss opportunities because it will be tagged as you not being able to handle it. Your goal is to be at the middle, confident enough to show you know what you are doing.

5. Other People's Lives:

Never let what you see on social media run your life. As you all know, people do not post their failures, unsuccessful rough paths on social media. Nobody ever comes online to post when they fight with their partners, but pictures of dates, gifts and all the good times are always going around, leaving you to believe their relationships are as beautiful as the sight of a well-seasoned plate of Nigerian Jollof rice.

Take their success stories as motivation and inspiration having at the back of your mind that it takes endurance, patience and hard work to make your own success story.

6. Failure: Nobody in this whole world enjoys failure. Embarking on a project and failing is disappointing because you did not expect to fail while taking on that project. Even as this means time, money, energy and concentration were all wasted as the project failed, this isn't the end of the world. Go back, figure out what you did wrong or didn't do at all, pick up the pieces, let the pain, anger and disappointment motivate and inspire you to give it another go or take on another project. The thing with Failure is, when you finally achieve or succeed in that project, you tend to value the success more and be more proud of yourself. When you fail, you hit rock bottom; that means when you pick yourself up, there is nowhere else to go but UP. Getting up from the ground and then succeeding is always a better story than achieving it at the first try. (This does not mean first-hand success is not good, you know what I mean).

7. Fears & Insecurities: We all have our fears and insecurities, but we cannot keep letting them take over us completely. Not pursuing a dream because you are afraid of failure or because you think you are not good enough should stop; what if you actually didn't fail? What if you are actually the most qualified for the job? all these things will remain a 'what if' and uncertainty, leaving an empty hole in your heart. Do it and know once and for all if you are actually good or not. Approach that girl, go for that job interview, do anything you've always wanted to do and know if you'd stand a chance or not. Even if you don't succeed, knowing that you actually tried is far better than not having an idea at all.

8. Anger: There is a reason why someone came up with the quote that says "say nothing when you are angry and make no promises when you are happy" that is because, when you are angry or hurt, you are not in the right state of mind and in that state, anything you say next can and will be heavy words that will do more hurt to people than the hurt you were in and will cause deep wounds that 'sorry' may not heal. As Men, we have to keep calm and be in control of our emotions when addressing issues, especially the ones involving women or children.

9. Laziness: Allowing laziness to be part of your lifestyle will only reduce your productivity. It causes procrastination which eventually leads to you not getting any work done. No matter how tough it is, Hard work is always better.

10. Sex: Hey, if you are not a relationship person and you just want to flirt, nobody is against that. All I'm saying is people do foolish things, tell some stupid lies, compromise their integrity and everything they stand for just to get in on some action; that's where the problem is. The more you lie and compromise your integrity, the more this takes over you and you eventually lose yourself. Be Yourself and tell the person you are with what you want, then if you still get in on the action, you'll realize that you got what you wanted without compromising your integrity.

11. Addiction:

We all have one addiction or the other; it doesn't matter if yours is food, social media, porn, masturbation, smoking, drugs, etc. As unharmful and as satisfying as they feel when you are doing them, they actually either waste time and money, or they hurt you physically and mentally. Addictions limit the control you have over your own life; the moment you start to get addicted to something, you feel dependent on it and it gives your brain the dopamine and temporal happiness you are supposed to get when you accomplish a goal or task, making your brain view completing actual important tasks on your to-do list as irrelevant. Quit your addiction for just 30 days and see how many goals you will accomplish.

Gentlemen, I think you are amazing and I know after reading this, you are going to get your life back to YOUR own control. Do what you aim to do, and know that the sky is just your point of view.

Thanks for reading, See you on Wednesday.

▪

Follow, Like, Comment, Share, Save and Check out the other blog posts.

•

The three most viewed blog posts:

1. 20 THINGS EVERY GUY SHOULD OWN.

2. 7 MODERN WAYS TO STYLE A FLANNEL.

3. MODERN WAYS TO STYLE A HOODIE

•

Follow me on:

Instagram:- @teachingmeneverything

Twitter:- @TMEverything_